Haiku

Why are you wearing

sunglasses on the subway?

You stoned old lady

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Right in the temple!

It started as only one,

Now a few. Gray hairs

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You had the nicest

laugh today when I almost

hit you with my bike

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Everything I do

I do it for you. At least,

All of the good stuff

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That season again

when I tune out all of the

talk about baseball

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Back in the old days

they didn’t have exercise

or no computers

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My neighbors sound drunk

A glass shatters, someone laughs

and says, “You did it!”

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Living back at home

My mom goes to sleep later

than me, can’t smoke weed

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The long train ride home

feels like the first of many

failed internet dates

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“You’re the funniest!”

she says to him. He replies,

“Just the loneliest”

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That was a great joke

Do you remember that time

when you joined a gym?

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Just another day

at work trying to avoid

talking to the boss

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You called out sick for

four-twenty. Are you kidding?

Just go to work high

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Long hair, skinny jeans

Are you a guy or a girl?

Kinda hard to tell

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Hey, these stale water

crackers taste like the Chinese

noodles that I like

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