Why are you wearing
sunglasses on the subway?
You stoned old lady
Writer of code, attempted humor
Why are you wearing
sunglasses on the subway?
You stoned old lady
Right in the temple!
It started as only one,
Now a few. Gray hairs
You had the nicest
laugh today when I almost
hit you with my bike
Everything I do
I do it for you. At least,
All of the good stuff
That season again
when I tune out all of the
talk about baseball
Back in the old days
they didn’t have exercise
or no computers
My neighbors sound drunk
A glass shatters, someone laughs
and says, “You did it!”
Living back at home
My mom goes to sleep later
than me, can’t smoke weed
The long train ride home
feels like the first of many
failed internet dates
“You’re the funniest!”
she says to him. He replies,
“Just the loneliest”
That was a great joke
Do you remember that time
when you joined a gym?
Just another day
at work trying to avoid
talking to the boss
You called out sick for
four-twenty. Are you kidding?
Just go to work high
Hey, these stale water
crackers taste like the Chinese
noodles that I like